


Kissing Goodbye

by longspoons



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Minimal comfort, Major character death but not in detail, Mentions of Marinette/Ladybug, original title: why does everything i write turn into either angst or ml or both, spoons writes another thing and it's also sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 22:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13176069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longspoons/pseuds/longspoons
Summary: They don't kiss each other goodbye. Adrien wishes they did.





	Kissing Goodbye

They don’t kiss each other goodbye.

She feels like it’s a cliche, a jinx, like in movies and books. He pouts because he just likes kissing her. “You can kiss me when we come back,” she tells him, her eyes a twinkling summer sky. _I love those blues_ , he thinks as she takes his breath away with her grace and strength and light. _She is all that I need_ , he thinks as she flies across the rooftops of Paris and he follows, a comforting pattern.

 

They don’t kiss each other goodbye.

They kiss each other hello, good morning, good night, I love you, I missed you, and everything in between, but not goodbye. She says that it feels too permanent. Like they’re dooming themselves to long periods of separation. She doesn’t want to risk tempting the fates. Because she wouldn’t be able to stand if they kissed each other goodbye and never hello again. He pulls her close and buries his nose in the crook of her neck and _breathes_. She smells of vanilla and sugar and butter and everything sweet and warm and nice. She sighs against him and he is drowning in her smell, her touch, her voice, _her_. He lets it fill up his lungs and run in his veins. He thinks, _I couldn’t live without this_. He thinks, _I’d rather die than miss this._

 

They didn’t kiss each other goodbye.

_Why? Why is this happening?_ he cries out in silence as he receives the news. A hero till the end. Saved the kid’s life. A memorial event in her name. It was a car accident. No words of encouragement or sympathy can help him fight the sorrow that threatens to tear him apart. She is dead and so is he.

 

They didn’t kiss each other goodbye.

At the wake, they talk about her greatness. They name the people she has saved and name her the best hero Paris has ever had. They number her years of service and the feats she has achieved. _She was beautiful, she was strong, she was brave_ , they say. Was. _I know_ , he thinks. Bitterness rises from his throat and he chokes. She had once made him forget how to breathe and it seems, without her, he no longer remembers. He chokes and chokes and chokes. There is no one to help him.

 

They didn’t kiss each other goodbye.

He tears out his hair and punches the wall and hates himself. _Why, why why? Why her? Why me?_ He wishes he had never met her and hates himself for it because his life was pointless before her. He wishes she was never selfless and loved only herself and him and hates himself again because he loved her selflessness. He loved her love for others. Loved. _Loves_. He wishes he was the one who died and hates himself even more because he would rather be torn to pieces than have her to feel the agony that he does.

 

They didn’t kiss each other goodbye.

Friends visit. Alya holds him shaking in his living room for hours. Nino brings him food and cleans the apartment. Alix, Kim, Max, Ivan. Mylene, Juleka, Rose, Sabrina. All their classmates come to pay their respects. Chloe sleeps over for a couple of days and it doesn't feel as empty, as lonely, as pointless. She makes sure he eats and washes and sleeps but she’s not _her_. She doesn’t talk about what happened. He thinks that she feels guilty as well, for being so cruel during their school days, for not knowing how to apologize or how to attempt to rebridge the things burned before it became too late. So they don’t talk about it and cope the best they can for as long as they are able. But it’s just not enough; he asks her to leave on the sixth day. She understands. After a kiss on his cheeks, and a whisper in his ears, she is gone. And he is alone. _Take care of yourself. She’d cry if she saw you like this._

 

They didn’t kiss each other goodbye.

He visits her grave for the first time. It’s covered in flowers and cards and stuffed animals and incense. It’s in good condition and he’s grateful. She deserves this. Immediately, he regrets the thought. Of course she doesn’t deserve this. She deserves the stars and the moon and the galaxies beyond. She deserves all the love in the world, given and received and cherished. She deserves to be alive, shining brighter than anything else, flying beyond the sky. She deserves better than him. She deserves better than this. He sits in front of her grave and weeps. Those who recognize him and those who don’t give him privacy. Give him peace. They let him mourn in silence and he is grateful.

 

They didn't kiss each other goodbye.

This thought had haunted him since the day she died. It still lingers, in the back of his mind, but it's been two years and now he can visit her without dying inside every time he reads the engravings on her tombstone.  _Here lies Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Ladybug. Lover of Paris, Hero to all._ The dates below those engravings signify all the years she lived. All the years she laughed, loved, and glowed. They do not include all the years she lost. The years that were taken away from her, from everyone around her. From him. He sets down the bouquet of flowers he brought, petals as blue as her eyes. It's been two years since he has seen those eyes but they are burned into his memory, onto his heart. He sits by the grave and lets his tears fall freely. He presses a kiss onto his hand and lays his hand gently besides the flower. "Goodbye, Marinette, my love," he whispers. "I'll see you again. But until then, goodbye."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall I just caught up with season 2 of ml and it's making me feel things again. I wrote this a while back but just found it and thought I would share! Hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much!!


End file.
